


The Only Thing I Know

by interruptedbyfjreworks



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), First Kiss, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 11:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14914284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interruptedbyfjreworks/pseuds/interruptedbyfjreworks
Summary: Dan's young and (possibly) in love but Phil is scared of moving too fast.





	The Only Thing I Know

**Author's Note:**

> based off of "fallilngforyou" by the 1975

None of this was supposed to happen. Dan wasn’t supposed to become this involved. All he wanted was to be noticed on Twitter by his favorite Youtuber who he may have had a small, harmless crush on. That was it. 

But then, Twitter replies led to becoming Facebook friends, which led to exchanging Skype names and talking nearly every day. As the days went on, Dan became more and more dependent on the four hour Skype calls that always made him feel better no matter how shitty his day had been. Phil was always able to cheer him up or calm him down with his soothing voice that Dan lived for. 

At a certain point, Dan finally admitted to himself that his small, harmless crush had developed into something bigger, more meaningful than he had ever experienced. It was a time when the two boys were both lying in bed on their respective sides of the country, looking at the other through their computer screens. Dan had found himself staring at Phil’s lips as he recounted a random story from his day. Dan hadn’t really been listening, but he finally looked away when he realized that Phil had stopped talking. 

“Are you alright, Dan?” Phil asked, voice softer than it had been just moments before.

Dan nodded, too quickly. “I’m fine.” 

Phil continued with his story, but Dan still wasn’t listening. He was too busy thinking of what Phil’s hair would feel like between his fingers and what it would feel like to have their lips move against each other.

Later that night after they had hung up, Dan finally accepted what had been in the back of his mind for so long. He was falling for Phil Lester. 

A few weeks later, in the early hours of the morning, Dan told Phil. It was something he never would’ve done if he weren’t drunk on exhaustion. It was quick, easy to miss, but Phil didn’t. 

“Did you just say what I think you just said?”

“I don’t know,” Dan breathed, “What do you think I said?”

Phil laughed, shaking his head at Dan. “I’m pretty sure you just said you were falling for me.”

The heat rising on Dan’s cheeks was obvious, he was sure. “Actually, I said I _think_ I’m falling for you. There’s a difference.” Dan was too shy to look into the webcam so he settled for fiddling with his hands in his lap.

“You don’t mean that. You hardly even know me.” Phil shook his head at Dan. The look in his eyes was sad, something Dan couldn’t help but notice. What did it mean?

“You’re right. I don’t know you. So I want to dedicate all of my time to get to know you even better. Then, I’ll know my feelings for sure. Although I’m pretty sure I already know how this is going to end.” 

The words coming from Dan’s lips weren’t anything he thought he would ever say. He was never the type of person who liked heartfelt confessions and sappy love stories. Something about Phil, though, made him want to be. 

 

The days went on and Dan and Phil continued to talk. Every day that passed was just further confirmation that Dan’s feelings towards Phil were only growing. They were constantly flirting with one another, it got to the point where Dan couldn’t talk to Phil for more than five minutes without a deep blush causing him to hide his face behind his hands. Phil knew what he was doing to Dan.

It was confusing. 

Phil would remind Dan daily how beautiful he thought he was and tell him that he couldn’t wait until he was able to hold Dan in his arms for the first time. But whenever Dan reminded him of his feelings (specifically that he was falling in love), Phil would tell him not to rush into things and that Dan was too young to be sure of his feelings. 

“You’ll meet so many people in your life, Dan. You’re only 18. You have so much time,” Phil insisted one night. 

Dan threw his head back, laughing in frustration. Before replying, he brought his hands up to his face and shook his head. “Phil,” he said, looking directly into his eyes through the screen. Phil’s eyes were wide and he was listening intently. “Why won’t you just believe me when I say that you are who I want to spend my time with!” Dan’s voice grew more insistent as he spoke. Phil had to understand this. It wasn’t just for Phil, however. It was also like a final realization for Dan. “You’re right, I have so much time, and I don’t want to waste any of it looking around for someone to love when he’s right there in front of me. The only thing I need is for you to love me back. I...I get if you can’t do that.” He became unsure towards the end, his voice becoming smaller. He didn't know where any of this was coming from. To Dan, his words sounded like a monologue from some cheesy romance movie, something he would've laughed at a month ago but now found himself relating to. He supposed that he only laughed at them because he didn't understand the feeling, but he did now. 

“It-it’s not that I don’t love you, Dan. It’s just-” Phil cut himself off with a groan of frustration, tugging at his hair with his hands. “I don’t want to be the one who holds you back.” Phil paused as if to give Dan a chance to say something. When he made no effort to, Phil continued. “You always talk about wanting to become an actor and perform in a show, or even just get your law degree and be successful. I’m afraid that if you stay with me, you’ll never achieve that. You have so much potential, Dan. I don’t want you to let it go to waste because you feel obligated to stay here with me.”

“You and I both know those are unrealistic dreams. I have no fucking idea what I want to do with my life. Right now, the only thing I know is that I want you. In every way possible.”

 

October 19th. The day Dan had been waiting for for so long, whether he knew it or not. He was meeting Phil. Phil Lester, the man he was (almost certainly) in love with. Phil Lester, the man he was currently pressed unnecessarily close to on the big wheel.

Not that either of them minded.

They had just had the best day of both of their lives, and they were ending it on the Manchester Eye. 

Dan was too frightened to talk, hyperaware of every movement he made. The boys just stared out over the city, mesmerized by the view. Absentmindedly, Dan reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear that had fallen into his face. As he brought his hand down, he realized that he had accidentally grazed it along Phil's thigh. It was the kind of movement that could've seemed deliberate. 

"Sorry," Dan mumbled, quickly shuffling away slightly. 

"Oh no, it's fine," Phil insisted. Their eyes met and the stare lingered for a split second too long, causing Dan to look away and hide his flustered face. 

_No_ , Dan thought. _You can't act like this. You need to show him that you're sure of yourself._

Dan looked back over at Phil who was still staring at him, almost as if he were in a trance. Dan tentatively reached out his right hand and placed it to rest on Phil's thigh lightly. It was clearly on purpose this time. Dan's gaze traveled from his hand to Phil's face, looking for some sort of a reaction. Phil's lips were parted slightly as his eyes roamed Dan's face. 

They're so _fucking_ close. Dan could practically feel the heat coming from Phil's skin. "Hey," Dan croaked out. He hated to break the silence, but he had to speak. Phil blinked a few times, surprised by Dan's voice. "Thanks for today. It really was the best day of my life." Phil's eyes crinkled as he smiled. Dan moved his hand from Phil's leg to find Phil's own hand. For some reason, it felt more intimate to thread their fingers together than it did to lay his hand on Phil's jeans. This was more personal. Both of the boys directed their eyes to their hands intertwined and resting in Dan's lap. Dan took in a deep breath before continuing. "Before you say anything, I know. I know you think I'm rushing into things and that I'm too young to know this, but I'm in love with you. There isn't a doubt in my mind. I want more than a friendship. I need more, Phil. Can we just try that?"

Before either of them had a chance to say anything else, they were kissing. It wasn't clear who leaned into who, but it didn't matter because Dan could feel the way Phil shifted to grab Dan's neck and pull him closer so it was obvious both of them wanted this. Phil's lips felt like everything he ever thought they would and so much more. He still tasted like the coffee they had drunk in Starbucks earlier that day. It had only been a few hours since then, but it felt like a lifetime ago. So much had changed in just the last few seconds their lips had been locked together. It meant something. Dan wasn't completely sure what, but it was something. Something towards what he so desperately wanted. 

Once they pulled away, Phil rested his forehead against Dan's and placed a hand on either side of Dan's face. "We can try that."

Dan's face hurt from how much he was smiling. He simply nodded and leaned in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr @interruptedbyfjreworks!  
> don't forget to leave comments/kudos if you liked it!!


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